Two At Newton

There are four meetings taking place this afternoon with jumps cards from Newton Abbot and Southwell, a flat card from Newmarket and an all-weather flat fixture from Newcastle.  David has two runners today; Home Farm House and Shoot To Fame.  Home Farm House contests the 2m5½f mares' maiden hurdle at 2.20pm.  She was the winner of a point-to-point in Ireland and shaped encouragingly in an all-weather bumper but has been a little disappointing in two starts over hurdles to date.  This better ground may help and she could run creditably with Tom Scudamore aboard.

Shoot To Fame runs in the 2m5½f conditional jockeys' handicap hurdle at 3.30pm.  She ran into a well handicapped type that has scored twice subsequently at Exeter on her penultimate start and was not beaten at all far at Taunton last time.  She is 3lbs lower this afternoon and this slightly longer trip should suit.  Fergus Gillard is in the saddle and claims 3lbs off her back and she looks to have each-way claims. 

It is the first day of the three day Craven meeting at Newmarket this afternoon with a couple of the most informative Guineas Trials on the calendar.  The feature race this afternoon is the Fielden and that has thrown up some good winners down the years, including Golden Horn in 2015.  There look to be some promising sorts this time around as well with the Roger Varian trained Royal Champion beating several subsequent winners at Newmarket as a two year old, whilst Godolphin's Secret Protector sets a high standard to aim at courtesy of his latest Meydan success.  It will be the turn of the fillies tomorrow with the Nell Gwyn before the colts take their turn in the Craven Stakes on Thursday.  Is it me, or do the Classic Trials earlier than ever this year?

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There is Champions League action tonight and Chelsea look to have given themselves an excellent chance of progressing to the semi-finals after beating opponents FC Porto 2-0 in the first leg.  It would be a major surprise if they were to blow that advantage tonight.

Snooker player Mark Allen has hit out at snooker's governing body after they offered Jimmy "The Whirlwind" White an invitational tour card for the next two seasons.  White, 58, has already been offered two such passes for the past four seasons (for his services to snooker) was beaten by Stephen Hendry in qualifying for the world championships earlier in the month.  Whilst The Whirlwind remains a popular player on the circuit, he has shown little worthwhile form for sometime and his appearance on the circuit only keeps someone else out.  I'm not sure I agree with this decision.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw 500 elephants coming over the hill?
"Look, there's 500 elephants coming over the hill."

What did Tarzan say when saw 500 elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?
Nothing, he didn't recognise them!